A lifetime of questions answered
It’s official: I’m autistic (with ADHD and a dash of PDA and dyspraxia, but who’s counting?)
Those of you who have been here a while might recall that I’ve been exploring the possibility I’m neurodivergent for the past year or so. Well, last week I got confirmation that what I suspected was indeed the case.
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash
The days before
I didn’t know what to expect after the assessment. I was so nervous and unsettled in the days leading up to the video call with Dr Wenn that I hadn’t had the wherewithal to consider what I might feel like afterwards. Was it going to be a yes or a no? This was all that filled my thoughts. That, and seemingly endless flashbacks of experiences and memories from childhood to adulthood that supported my hypothesis.
Relief and hope
When I finally got the news: I felt a tremendous sense of relief and validation. I can’t quite express to you how incredible it feels to have made sense of my life; to know who I am; to know I’m not broken; to know I’m not alone; to know I can finally stop trying so hard.
Since then I’ve shared with several friends and acquaintances and been bowled over by how wonderful the support has been. I feel so very grateful to have the answers I’ve spent a lifetime chasing. Even more, to be alive at a time where hearts are opening and the change from unquestioning, blinkered conformity to compassionate, beautiful acceptance of diversity marches on.
Paradigms are shifting
None of us has to push, strive, hustle or force change to happen. It’s happening anyway. Paradigms are shifting, and we are the custodians and care-takers of the generations who'll be pulling up the rear.
My point? It’s this. Committing to yourself and your personal healing, is not selfish, indulgent, meaningless or unimportant. Not even when “bigger things are going on in the world”. When are they not?
We are all connected. Your experience and your story matters.
When you come to know, embrace and honour yourself, the impact is seismic. It impacts those around you, those who went before and those who will come after. For generations. It matters. Don’t let anyone tell you it doesn’t.
You are here for a reason. We all are. Tune in and find it.
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