Practising menstrual cycle awareness
Understanding how the ebb and flow of your cycle affects your mind and body can help you be more intentional in life and work
I first started tracking my cycle in 2009 when I came off the contraceptive pill I’d been taking non-stop since age 16. I’d always suffered a lot with PMS symptoms and wanted to try something different to manage my cycle. I’ve reflected on my experience of my cycle a lot, learned how it affects me and how I can work with it rather than against it, so I’m sharing my experience and what I’ve found useful in case it’s helpful to you too.
Photo by Monika Kozub on Unsplash
Do you remember the first time?
I first got my period I was 11 years old and still in primary school. When I saw the dark patch of blood staining my knickers, I thought, “this is going to be a real pain”. I wasn’t scared or shocked, not celebratory, but resigned.
When I was younger, I’d spied the string of my mum’s tampon hanging between her legs as she washed her face in the bathroom and I’d asked questions. The answers I’d been given were straight to the point with no more detail than was completely necessary (and probably not particularly accurate - fairly standard for the time I imagine). Those answers aside, I’d been reading books meant for teenagers for some time and that scene in My Girl where Veda gets her period and sends Thomas J away for 5-7 days stands out as another reference that educated me, amongst others. I knew what to expect (physically, at least), and what I expected was something that was going to cause me grief.
I was right. I suppose I’d got that message subliminally from my mum, who suffered badly with PMS, in much the same way I came to experience. With hindsight, I can see that as a child, without being able to name it, I noticed how her energy reduced at times, how put-upon she sometimes seemed, how impatient and quick to anger she became, in stark contrast to what was usual. Perhaps that’s why I had a recurring dream of my mum having an evil twin I was terrified of. I noticed that there was a very palpable difference in my mum’s experience of life compared to my dad’s (who was out to work and away a lot). Now I know she desperately needed rest and to be taken care of, instead of always taking care of everyone else.
Then came the pain. And the drugs.
By age 13 my periods had become heavy and lasted a week at a time. I experienced cramps that left me writhing in agony, nausea, vomiting and migraines, which could only be seen off by lying in a darkened room for several hours. I even fainted a few times. I was prescribed a drug to reduce the heaviness of my periods and relieve some of the symptoms, which helped. By age 16 I was on the combined contraceptive pill and didn’t experience the extreme physical symptoms anymore.
From then on I had different issues: skin problems were pretty constant, exhaustion and emotional upset too (though I’m not sure how cyclical those effects were at that stage). I tried many different types of pill to see if the PMS would go away, but it never did completely. Aged about 27, a doctor or nurse finally realised I shouldn’t be on the combined pill at all, as I’d suffered migraines and so was at a higher risk of stroke. They moved me to the mini pill which made my skin worse. It was shortly after that I decided to come off the pill altogether.
Tracks of my tears
I started tracking my period and associated symptoms, probably because a friend was using an app to track her fertility in order to get pregnant. I figured I could use the same tool for the opposite purpose and found some of the apps had this capability (I should add, this is not the intended use of tracking apps, but it worked for me).
I don’t recall the name of the first app I used, which was basic, but allowed me to note my mood, how much energy I had and when I bled. During this time, I started to see patterns and recognise for the first time just how much what I ate and drank, how I slept and how much stress I experienced was impacting my experience of PMS. Still, making lifestyle changes is not easy. I’d like to say I managed to at this stage, but I didn’t. Not yet.
Rock bottom
Post having my first baby in 2014, my PMS became completely unmanageable. I’d get intensely frustrated, tearful, and angry. I went to my GP convinced I had PMDD, an extreme condition that’s estimated to affect 5.5% of people who menstruate. Purely anecdotally, there might be a potential link between PMDD and autism. Perhaps it was post-natal depression. Perhaps it was a combination of things. Ultimately labels aren’t that helpful, and neither were the NHS, but tracking was. As was reading a book called No More PMS and working with the author, Maryon Stewart on lifestyle and dietary changes. This made a huge difference to my experience of my cycle. I had energy, I felt positive, my PMS symptoms radically reduced to almost none at all.
Cycle effects
Here’s a brief outline of the effects I notice during each part of the 28 day cycle (mine is more like 23-25 days post two children but I’ll base this on a more typical cycle length for ease):
Day 1 – 7 Spring Tentatively outward looking, rising energy levels, growing creativity and positivity, making plans, good at writing and planning ideas
Day 8 – 14 Summer Sociable, active, energetic, amenable, creative, confident, more attractive (good hair, skin, eyes - seriously), hilarious and charming conversationalist, taking action, (sometimes to levels that I later want to backtrack on). Good at taking risks and social contact.
Day 15 – 21 Autumn Energy beginning to reduce, appetite slowly increasing and changing, more inward looking and reflective, more need for alone time, anxiety creeping in, need to sleep more
Day 22 – 28 Winter Low energy, bigger appetite, heartier cravings, intense need for solitude and quiet reflection, sombre mood, argumentative, sensitive, indecisive, foggy brain, driving skills impaired, impatient, quick to anger, skin sallows, eyes dull, not very good at writing or cooking or caring for others – admin only or setting up meetings or preferably, reading books or watching telly alone
Things I notice having a positive effect on my cycle
In order of importance:
Getting enough sleep/rest (I take myself to lie down in the days running up to my bleed - I think this is a good thing for children to see and understand the need for - my son even notices my voice lower in pitch around this time!)
Keeping hydrated
Eating lots of fruit and vegetables, particularly green leaves
Eating enough protein (if I don’t I’m more inclined to gorge on sugar or toast/pasta)
Exercise: Doing a short burst of kettlebells most days and some yoga too
Reducing stress levels: all of the above obviously contribute to that plus, getting outside, journalling, meditation/breathwork
Reducing caffeine and alcohol: I don’t drink caffeine and am an infrequent drinker. I used to drink a fair bit and stopping made a big difference to my PMS
Being aware of these things doesn’t mean I don’t slip, I definitely do. But it does keep me mindful of what I consume, what I do and how that can impact how I feel throughout my cycle.
For example, I don’t schedule networking or meetings or social events when pre-menstrual if it can be helped. If it’s unavoidable, knowing this in advance, I can dial up on the other stuff to allow for it – get more rest, keep hydrated, eat lots of greens and protein balanced meals in the run up.
I no longer track all my symptoms anymore. It’s been so long, I don’t need so much information anymore to know what’s going on. It’s become second nature to pay attention. But daily tracking is a great way to start and it doesn’t have to be complicated or time consuming. You can get started in a journal logging the day, your mood, energy level, appetite, exercise, desire, sociability, and anything else that you want to explore in relation to your cycle or download an app that allows you to select what you want to track, like Clue.
Prompts
If you want to get started with menstrual cycle awareness and have never thought about this before, here are some questions you might like to consider:
What are your memories of your first period? How did you feel about it’s arrival?
What ideas and beliefs did you have about menstruation and where might you have acquired those: Parents? Siblings? Films and TV?
How might any of this have impacted your experience of your cycle moving forward?
How has your experience of your cycle changed over the years?
What is your experience in each part of the cycle? Do the patterns I shared resonate? How is your experience different?
What beliefs and ideas have you held about periods that you’d like to replace with new beliefs and ideas? What might those be?
Sources:
PMDD Research — UNC Center for Women's Mood Disorders. (2016).Med.unc.edu. Retrieved 17 March 2016, from https://www.med.unc.edu/psych/wmd/research/pmdd
Clue period tracking app
No More PMS by Maryon Stewart
Wild Power by Alexandra Pope & Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer
BBC Sounds podcast, 28 days later (ish)
Period Power podcast with Maisie Hill
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