1. Reconnect and make amends⠀
First things first, make an unqualified apology, which means making no excuses for your behaviour and taking back anything you’ve said which you didn’t mean. Maybe you did mean it at the time, but you know it’s not true, not helpful and maybe even detrimental to your child’s sense of worth in the long run. ⠀
2. Forgive yourself⠀
Consciously and wholeheartedly forgive yourself. You’re only human and – despite the unreachable high standards society seems to expect of mothers – no mother is perfect.
Take care of yourself in whatever way you need to recuperate because you deserve it. Breathe, rest, exercise, take a proper break if you have support and are able to. If you don’t, maybe this looks like treating yourself to a bath with candles if you have a small slice of time after your kids’ bedtime. Be intentional about it and the fact you’re taking care of yourself because you need it. Send a clear message to yourself that you are worthy and deserving of time and space to yourself to rest and recuperate. Parenting is hard.
Think about what’s most important to you: is it most important your kid does exactly what you say the moment you say it? Or is it more important that they are respected, have their own mind, that you’re connected, they feel unconditionally loved and worthy?
Reconnect and recommit to your values, how you want to parent, how you want your household to feel and how you want your child to feel. And start again.
Leave a comment below if this was helpful or add any tips of your own for moving past guilt. I’d love to hear them.